Archive for Apr/2009

THE BEST PERFUME TO ATTRACT A MAN

My girlfriend told me her Irish perfume smelled like maple syrup after a few hours.

Men were following their noses to her and then talking about pancakes.

I said, “If you really want to attract a man, find a perfume that dries down to bacon.”

(I haven’t lived with Himself all these years for nothing.)

Apr/2009 at 6:39 pm Leave a comment

HEALTHY HABITS WE CAN LEARN FROM DOGS

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Bebe

1.  Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

2.  Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3.  When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

4.  Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

5.  When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

6.  Take naps and stretch before rising.

7.  Run, romp, and play daily.

8.  Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9.  Be loyal.

10.  Never pretend to be something you’re not.

11.  If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

12.  When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

13.  Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

14.  Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

15.  On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.

16.  When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

17.  No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout…run right back and make friends.

18.  Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

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Little-Bit

is taking a mental health day.

Apr/2009 at 6:16 pm Leave a comment

NO SHRIMP IN JAIL

Serial shrimp shoplifter.

Maybe he was having a dinner party.

Or is a shrimp addict.

Apr/2009 at 5:45 pm Leave a comment

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?

Perfume.

Purses.

Definitely Coke.

No! This Coke!

Original, old school.

Or maybe Mexican Coke.

Apr/2009 at 5:41 pm 1 comment

WHAT COULD YOU BE ADDICTED TO?

If I weren’t careful-decongestant. Or HULU.

Chocolate goes without saying…

How about you?

Apr/2009 at 5:38 pm Leave a comment

AN ORAL CONTRACT ISN’T WORTH THE PAPER

IT’S WRITTEN ON.
I forgot.

Apr/2009 at 5:03 pm Leave a comment


April 2009
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