Archive for Apr/2009

LONGING FOR A “LAST TIME’ DO-OVER

We remember all our “firsts”.

First bike. First car. First kiss. First concert. First day of camp.

Our parents remember our first steps, first words and first day of school.

A lot of our firsts are almost predictable. There’s an unofficial time table or we see them coming.

But what about the last time? That’s more unpredictable, sometimes heartrendingly so.

The last time you played Barbies or Legos or slept with your teddy.

The last time you went to the library or swimming with a parent.

The last walk you took with your father.

The last time you heard your mother laugh.

The last Thanksgiving with your grandmother.

This list will be different for everyone but the premise and poignancy are the same. We can’t know and it’s something we should be mindful of.

I don’t have any definitive answers but I think it’s about being grateful and appreciative (not exactly the same thing) and in the moment and not taking anything for granted. Because it can change in an instant-the blink of an eye.

I used to think the answer was to live each day as if it were my last and cramming as much into every day as possible. That just led to years of sleep deprivation. 🙂

One thing I know to be true-when I am gone the people I love will know they were loved. “I love you” will be my final words to them. How do I know?

Because it’s the last thing I say to them every single time.

Because you never know when it is the last time.

Apr/2009 at 6:49 am Leave a comment


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