Posts tagged ‘ILikeAlliteration’

THANK GOD FOR GEEKS

One just fixed my e-mail-remotely.

It took him 20 minutes.

That’s hours in human time.

Jul/2009 at 11:59 pm Leave a comment

SUNSET SILHOUETTE

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Jun/2009 at 6:12 pm 1 comment

SOUTHERN SAYINGS

“A SOUTHERNER TALKS MUSIC.”   -MARK TWAIN

I will continue to add to this list. I won’t tell you where I heard anything because it just wouldn’t be polite. Y’all come back now, ya hear?

“Bless her heart, she can’t help being ugly, but she could’ve stayed home.”

“That boy ain’t right.”

“Her eyes look like two holes burned in a blanket.”

“Just because their kids were born here don’t make them Southern. My dog sleeps in the garage. It don’t make him a truck.”

“You’re not really married ’till you send out that last thank you note.”

“Are you trying to grow potatoes behind those ears?”

“I’ve gotta see a man about a dog.” ( have to use the restroom)

“Are you catching flies?” (Don’t walk around with your mouth open.)

“When God handed out brains, he was standing behind the door.”

“Were you raised in a barn?” (referring to manners)

“If you swallow those seeds, watermelons will grow out your ears.”

“You could serve TEA off that butt!”

“He’s old as dirt.”

“Don’t bite your tongue. You’ll poison yourself.”

“No hill for a stepper.”

“You are working my last nerve.”

“I don’t have a dog in that hunt.”

“I have a bone to pick with you.”

“Gooder than grits.”

“Fuller than two ticks on a hound dog.”

“I feel like I’ve been shot at and missed and pooped on and and hit.”

“All hat, no cattle.”

“She told him how the cow ate the cabbage.”

“Everything he’s got is on the showroom floor.”

“You don’t put your money in the front window.”

“She’s a pistol!”

“He’s a hoot!”


May/2009 at 1:57 am 5 comments

BRAVE BEBE

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I always say that Cotons de Tulears are not great guard dogs but they make wonderful watchdogs. Bebe has proved me wrong.

This is especially amazing when you consider her history. Before she came to us she was not treated well and, unlike most Cotons, is not social. She is afraid of men. She is a one-woman dog.

I was going to my garage (unlocked and not attached to the house) through my back garden (locked gates). It was the middle of the day. The dogs were behind me but are not allowed in the garage as Little-Bit always feels compelled to baptize the floor. Usually they just sit outside the door and wait for me.

Not this day! Bebe climbed over Little-Bit and scratched my sandaled feet in her haste to attack a closed door that leads to a small room in the corner of the garage. She was jumping as high as the doorknob and literally throwing herself at the door. She went what I call “Coton Crazy” and not in a good way. She sounded like a garage full of junk yard dogs.

I thought there might be a rat in the little room and beat a hasty retreat. Bebe would not come away from the door and I had to drag her out of the garage. Even then, she stayed between me and the garage- walking backwards, barking and growling until we were safely back in the house.

I made a mental note to call the exterminator and paid scant attention to the little dog who stationed herself by the back door. She was pacing and hyper-vigilant.

An hour or so later, the animals and I went out to do our “business” (my business was deadheading my roses) and I noticed that things were awry on the deck. Someone had been in the back yard. I think that someone was also in my garage.

The policeman told me that I should have listened to my dog. I agree.

I thought about putting a sign in my back window that says, “BEWARE OF BOA CONSTRICTOR”. That would stop me if I were a burglar. But perhaps my sign should say, “BEWARE OF BEBE”.

My 15 pound, white, not-so-young fluffball is all heart. She is also my hero.

ADDENDUM- I will be locking all my doors all the time from now on. And I will listen to my dog.

May/2009 at 11:53 pm Leave a comment

LONGING FOR A “LAST TIME’ DO-OVER

We remember all our “firsts”.

First bike. First car. First kiss. First concert. First day of camp.

Our parents remember our first steps, first words and first day of school.

A lot of our firsts are almost predictable. There’s an unofficial time table or we see them coming.

But what about the last time? That’s more unpredictable, sometimes heartrendingly so.

The last time you played Barbies or Legos or slept with your teddy.

The last time you went to the library or swimming with a parent.

The last walk you took with your father.

The last time you heard your mother laugh.

The last Thanksgiving with your grandmother.

This list will be different for everyone but the premise and poignancy are the same. We can’t know and it’s something we should be mindful of.

I don’t have any definitive answers but I think it’s about being grateful and appreciative (not exactly the same thing) and in the moment and not taking anything for granted. Because it can change in an instant-the blink of an eye.

I used to think the answer was to live each day as if it were my last and cramming as much into every day as possible. That just led to years of sleep deprivation. 🙂

One thing I know to be true-when I am gone the people I love will know they were loved. “I love you” will be my final words to them. How do I know?

Because it’s the last thing I say to them every single time.

Because you never know when it is the last time.

Apr/2009 at 6:49 am Leave a comment

CANINE QUOTES

“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”

Fran Lebowitz

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of
his tongue.”

-Anonymous

“Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are
wonderful.”

Ann Landers

“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they
went.”

Will Rogers

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.”

Bern Williams

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves
himself.”

Josh Billings

“The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.”

Andrew A.Rooney

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have
known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.”

James Thurber

“A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times
before lying down.”

Robert Benchley

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.”

Rita Rudner

“Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current
events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of
late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are
often continued in the next yard.”

Dave Barry

“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.”

Franklin P. Jones

“If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise.”

-Unknown

“Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend; inside of a dog,
it’s too dark to read.”

Groucho Marx

“Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul — chicken, pork, half a cow. They
must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!”

Anne Tyler

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and
get used to the idea.”

Robert A. Heinlein

“To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.”

Aldous Huxley

“God… sat down for a moment when the dog was finished in order to watch it… and to know that it was good, that nothing was lacking, that it could not have been made better.”

Rainer Maria Rilke

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BeBe

Apr/2009 at 12:55 am Leave a comment

DREADFUL DENTAL DRAMA

I wasn’t going to write about this, but then I got outed by a friend in the comments.

Brief time line:

Crown came off molar

Palm Sunday- Tooth cracked-lengthwise.

Gets inflamed

Thursday- Dentist says tooth cannot be saved. Go to oral surgeon to get his opinion.

Good Friday- Oral surgery

Blur of pain, grossness, soft foods.

Wednesday- Solid food. Big mistake.

Thursday- Queasy, bruised and jaw feels fractured.

Tomorrow- Follow-up with surgeon.

So, Easter dinner was canceled at my house and baskets (which  I enjoy) did not get filled. It was all a bit depressing and I am looking forward to Mother’s Day and having my family around me again. I was very grateful that the surgeon was able to fit me in before the holiday weekend.

Apr/2009 at 10:54 pm 1 comment

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